28 | March | 2012 | DC WARRIOR DAILY

In past years I have had the habit of sharing some thoughts and reminders regarding community living and modesty. Welcome to the 2012 Spring Version.

One of the things I appreciate about hanging out here at Dayton Christian with all of you is that we buck some of the trends of many intentional communities by the wide range of Christ-followers we gather under one “roof.” This can be a great example to others of Spirit-filled life-on-life…or an unfortunate example of what the world too often sees…not-so-spirit-filled angst. Dayton Christian has been a blessing to me over the years as a positive example.

I also appreciate the challenge of discussing the importance of modesty within our wonderfully diverse family.

Can we agree that the issue of modesty is fundamentally a Spirit-filled function of how we represent ourselves to each other, how we treat each other? Can we agree that another Biblical principle on this topic is that our outward appearance should not overshadow or diminish the more important quality of our inner beauty (character)?

When we come together to rub shoulders in community here at Dayton Christian there are many areas of life where we hold to a common core of understanding of how we will function. Some of these common core values are rock solid, foundational convictions based upon explicit instruction from the Bible and others are principles and preferences that we hold more strongly or loosely according to the conviction and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Now here is where the tough part begins, doesn’t it? How do we handle the differences of how God is leading each of us through different levels of growth and conviction in these areas of principles and preferences?

Let me suggest a framework for how we can treat each other on this issue of modesty. Let’s call this the modesty ethos for the Dayton Christian community.

We can agree that if we were able to plot all of our modesty convictions on some graph…it would produce a scattering of data points all over the page. At this point, some might be tempted to take a red pen and begin to cross out some people’s data points as spiritually unfit to participate in the survey. We could consider that God might not want us to begin another church on the same block because of this difference but would rather have us demonstrate the life-changing power of Christ in us as we live together.

Consider the hypothetical modesty graph. To live in community on this issue without killing each other we have the practice of taking a fat marker and drawing a bold swath down the middle of the graph. The idea is that when we come together as a Dayton Christian family we will function within the marked swath as it relates to issues of modesty. We do this out of humility and graciousness toward each other, always desiring the best for one another. Regardless of where we draw that swath, there will always be folks to the right or left with regard to spirit-filled convictions and understandings about modesty. Do we agree that the stroke of the marker does not constitute “God-breathed?” I believe that is the struggle for some…to play the role of the Holy Spirit by declaring their marker swath or modesty point on the graph as God’s standard for all. Romans chapter 14 may come to mind for some of you. I encourage reflection on this passage.

So now the question becomes, “How do I treat others when I find myself to the right or left of the modesty community agreement?” It is not a question of changing my own convictions or changing others’ convictions. We are all convicted that modesty is important. The critical question becomes one of relationship. I believe the fundamental basis for relating to each other in this area of modesty can be characterized by 1 Peter 1:22, “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” Allow me to list some appropriate relational options.

Some might find themselves slightly to the left of the community modesty agreement. Overall, they tend to discover that their own convictions place them in a realm that is slightly more permissive or broad when it comes to fashion choices. How should these folks respond to the rest of the body? How do you implement 1 Peter 1:22 when your brother or sister is slightly to the right of your modesty convictions? I think it is obvious that a commitment to function within the community agreement is necessary and out of love for others be deeply motivated to not create angst by trying to coerce the body toward a particular dot on the graph.

Some might find themselves slightly to the right of the community modesty agreement. Overall, they tend to discover that their own convictions place them in a realm that is slightly more “conservative” or narrow when it comes to fashion choices. How should these folks respond to the rest of the body? How do you implement 1 Peter 1:22 when your brother or sister is slightly to the left of your modesty convictions? I think it is obvious that a commitment is necessary to allow the greater body to function within the community agreement and out of love for the brethren be deeply motivated to not create angst in others by trying to coerce the body toward a particular dot on the graph.

Some might come to the conclusion that the community agreement is too far removed from their own convictions and causes too much conflict for healthy living. An individual may make a valid choice that they can no longer participate in a particular community. When Spirit-filled, a separation may occur by means of an inconspicuous, always-looking-out-for-others’-needs withdraw. Unfortunately, some cannot resist the temptation to throw a hand-grenade through the door on their way out.

Within this context of a deep concern for others, it is completely acceptable to have wonderfully encouraging discussions that positively challenge our commitment to Christ and that encourage us toward a higher level of spiritual maturity. It is usually quite obvious whether a conversation is intended to be spiritually edifying or simply an expression of frustration of why Christendom does not gather more closely around a personal value dot on a graph?

One of the delightful parts of my job is the opportunity to encourage all to live within the community agreements to which we have made a commitment. I don’t make that comment facetiously. It is a privilege to have meaningful conversations that are mutually edifying. In the arena of modesty, I find it very encouraging to have discussions with folks who stop by to share thoughtful reflection and personal stories of how God is drawing them to Himself.

May God bless you and your family as He continues to teach each of us how better to love one another deeply while growing together in our love for Christ.